Starless Nights

Meygan stood on top of that unfamiliar hill, staring at the last rays of the sun as they slowly faded and disappeared in the horizon. She could hardly believe that she was in that place, totally alone. The quaint little barrio nestled just below the hill seemed too different and unwelcoming. She had realized that the moment she cast a quick glance at her spaghetti-strapped dress and five inch heels.

She was about to leave when she remembered why she was there in the first place. A few months before her Grampy’s sudden death, Meygan had not turned to the old man to ask for his advice even once. It was surprising for she had always depended on her Grampy and his words since she was a child. Then she changed — believing that she had grown up and that her dear grandfather’s advice were mere words… mere lies…

Those days were long lost in the wind but the memory of her Grampy’s last wish lingered. Meygan would go to that place where the old man spent endless nights staring at the sky… and she would learn to believe again.

But as sudden as her grandfather’s death, the once velvet and crimson sky had now turned into and endless stretch of black — lots of dark clouds preparing to shed tears.

There won’t be any stars tonight Gram… I told you there are nights when stars just won’t show up…

Meygan fumbled for her keys, finally deciding to start the 160-kilometer drive towards home. Just as she reached for her car’s door, the throbbing in her head occurred again.

“Dammit, why did I forget my pills? Not now —” Meygan gasped.

She tried to call for help but the blackness of the night seemed to have seeped into her, covering her eyes so that nothing could be seen. Only total darkness… then light…

“Thank God you’re awake. You were unconscious for hours — lying there in the muddy ground when Gabriel found you.”

The kindness in the woman’s voice was enough to make Meygan immediately at ease. She studied the woman who was now scooping some sort of milky substance and putting it in a bowl. Even though she still wasn’t feeling well, Meygan fought the pain and struggled to get up from the papag where she was lying.

“Go back to bed and rest some more.”

That was the first time Meygan noticed the other person in the house. The deep, raspy voice belonged to a young man almost the same age as she.

He must be Gabriel…

But her guess was not affirmed for after she went to the papag again, there was only stark silence between them. Even when Gabriel’s mother fed her some sopas. Even when she finally dozed off to sleep.

Meygan woke up realizing that she had been asleep the entire day. The throbbing in her head had not yet fully subsided but she felt much better even though the family who saved her already knew how fragile she is. She had always kept her sickness as secret — always lived a life of pretense. Others think of her as someone who’s confident and very much spirited but that facade was a complete lie.

But why did she have this feeling of being secure now even when her frailty was exposed? Was her Grampy right all along? Would she really find hope here in the old man’s hometown?

“Hey, you must be starving now. Here,” Gabriel handed her a bowl of soup.

“T-hank you,” Meygan stammered and immediately raised the bowl to sip the frothy liquid.

“Be care — “

“Ouch!”

“I was going to tell you it’s hot,” Gabriel chuckled and turned to get some water.

The glass that he handed her was not the expensive kind that Meygan used to see in her friends’ cupboards and yet, its crystalline finish had a beautiful kind of sheen. It seemed to glow even though it was dusk and darkness was slowly entering the house.

“It’s beautiful… but breaks easily…” Meygan muttered.

“Well, unless it’s well taken care of — “

But she could not hear Gabriel’s reply any longer for the pain in her head had occurred again — becoming more unbearable than ever. Before she knew it, the glass that she was holding had slipped, making its way towards the floor… towards its end.

Yet there was no sound of breaking glass — only splashing water. Gabriel had amazingly managed to save it. Meygan could only return his sheepish grin with a forced smile.

Darkness had already enveloped the entire sky and as the first stars of the night began to appear and Meygan saw the huts of the other barrio folks being illuminated by flickering gaseras, she began to remember what her Grampy always told her.

The old man’s words were clear now — without any sign that they were once long-forgotten dreams. Meygan had finally understood. The darkness of the night may stretch endlessly into the vast open but there will always be shimmering specks of light up there — as infinite as the black sky.

The words that she had long buried at the back of her mind were not mere syllables after all… and surely not mere lies. For the first time in a long while, Meygan smiled — this time without any hint of deceit. Even when the throbbing in her head grew more persistent than ever. Even when she had to close her eyes and sleep some more.

 

 

-Maryanne Lobaton-